do you remember how i said that orson welles had this fabulous voice? that he could probably read the phone book? well last night i had a dream. it was as if mr. welles was making good on my offer.
in my dream i was back in my room at home, lying face up in a white nightgown and staring at the ceiling. i was deadweight. suddenly the door to my room opened and orson welles walked in carrying the white pages. this didn't seem strange at all. i didn't move.
he pulled up the yellow chair next to my bed and sat down, then told me he was going to read me a bedtime story. i felt as if i had been waiting for this. it felt fine. i guess the age difference was appropriate. he was much older and had that white beard and could stare right through me. but he said he would only do it if i was a good girl. a good girl. he emphasized that. "are you going to be a good girl?" he asked. and i said i would.
so he began to read: alice, ambles, carus, running, portence, silence, carriage...
my head fell to my left and i looked at him. my face began to get wet. "do you want to hear this?" he asked. "really? do you?" i would nod and he would continue to read. this went on for who knows how long.
labyrinth, liver, sistren, cunning, quiver...
and it was so strange, just the two of us there with this phone book. except what he was reading was all wrong. it was like the words were melting off the pages and puddling on the floor.
how did it end? i have no idea. there are too many endings. i could give it the easy ending, the nightmare ending. maybe i could say he turned into my father and nailed my hand to the nightstand. but it isn't true.
or i could say he finally got it right. he found the right page- page 23- and said:
wynken blynken and nod one night sailed off in a wooden shoe
sailed off on a river of crystal light
into a sea of dew
but i don't know.
anyway, i've been thinking about orson welles a lot lately. i've been thinking of him out to sea. isn't it sad he's ending up in someone's head like mine? i mean, doesn't he deserve better? shouldn't he be elevated? in the meantime i've been told to rent the third man. i'm starting to wonder if this is a sign.
